“You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self.
Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.”

~ Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull ~

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

12 Days of Yule ~ Day 10

10th Day of Yule – Remembering the Noble Virtue of Self-Reliance
December 29th

"Do not create co-dependent relationships in any way. Do not let your happiness, or your success, be determined by anyone else. Be responsible for yourself. Rely on your own efforts to secure your needs."

"I've learned to trust myself, to listen to truth,
to not be afraid of it and to not try and hide it."
~ Sarah McLachlan ~

I lived most of my childhood, adolescence and adulthood as an on-again/off-again Christian. It seemed to me that's what was expected, and being a people-pleaser that's what I did. It wasn't until this last year that I took a leap of faith and started to trust myself. To listen to my own inner truth. To rely on what that truth told me and to follow it, wherever it led me.

It hasn't been an easy path to follow. Being a solitary, I've had to rely on myself, to educate myself, to practice, to seek out new truths and to follow those truths, so long as they ring true. If at some point they don't ring true anymore, then I'll rely on myself to alter that truth so that it does ring true. It's an ever-changing landscape, but I know that I can rely on myself to stay the course.

One truth that is ringing ever-louder is that I have to be responsible for myself. For the truths or untruths that I tell myself, or if I choose to listen to others, what my portion of responsibility is in what they're telling me. No one has power over me. I'm responsible for myself and I have to rely on myself to tell myself so.

It's a process, and even at my age I'm still growing, still learning, still working on those parts of me that harbor the child within. You see, she still relies on me, and I'm not going to let her down . . .

post signature

1 comment:

Aine O'Brien said...

I think the hardest thing for some of us is to be ourselves. It does seem so easy for others, though. I've struggled with this for a while and in the process realized that often it IS my inner child herself that thwarts this effort, because she is afraid of growing up.

She will always live inside me, but I think sometimes to be able to be who we are today is to let the inner child grow up and leave the stuff of childhood behind. This is much the same way the good parent is always working towards creating eventual complete independence in their children.

This may or may not ring true for you - This is just what I learned for myself so far...