“You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self.
Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.”

~ Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull ~

Friday, July 30, 2010

A Season . . .

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season . . .

Over the course of my adult life I've been a Big Sister three times. The first time was to a young girl who I was only a Big Sister to for a few weeks. I can't really remember the reason why it was so short-lived except that her family decided to pull all the children from the program.

The second time was to a little girl who was just adorable and fun. After about six months she started to change becoming increasingly angry and aggressive. Our case worker at the time contacted me and asked if I'd noticed anything different about the girl. I said I had and explained. I was then informed that it was discovered that the father had been abusing her. Unfortunately, it was decided that the Big Sister relationship would end so that the family could sort through the ramifications of such a terrible situation. My heart broke . . . I loved that little girl and I was devastated that someone could do such an awful, unspeakable thing to her.

The third time I became a Big Sister was about two years ago. I enjoyed a year long relationship with her and after the year committment was up, I decided to end it. Although I enjoyed spending time with her, she was at an age where friends are the focus and so on our outings it seemed we always had her friends around. I knew she was doing okay and so we went our separate ways.

Each of these young girls taught me something about them,about myself and about life. That it's not always fun, not always perfect, not always as we wish it could be. That it's downright cruel sometimes. But in the inbetween places, it is fun, it is perfect, it is safe, and it's exactly as we wish it could be.

I hope they learned something from me to and that all of our lives are better for the experience of sharing and learning about each other. And, yes, I remember each of their names . . . they're imprinted on my heart . . .


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Reason . . .

There's a saying that goes "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime".

The older I get, the more I understand this simple phrase. Let me explain . . .

A REASON . . .

A number of years ago I went on a trip with a couple of friends to Las Vegas where we were meeting up with my mom and a friend of hers. The trip started out well enough with a few blips from one of the ladies I was with. We got to Vegas and made it through the first day without any problem. Then on the second day, right from morning breakfast on throughout the day it became a disaster. Oh, did I mention it was also my birthday? Anyway, we got through breakfast and decided to go check out the strip. We shopped in a few little boothes along the way, settled at an outdoor cafe for a drink and some entertainment and then were heading back to the hotel for some rest before our big night out.

At this point one of the ladies I came with decided that she needed to do some shopping for pantyhose. So we all went along for what we thought would be a quick ten minute shopping excursion. Well, she decides to do some real shopping! After about half an hour I was loosing my patience. I mean, I didn't come to Las Vegas to shop much less follow her around shopping. So my patience expelled I as much said so and walked away. She didn't flinch an inch and continued shopping. My mom now is losing her patience and she as much said so. At this point we agreed that my mom, her friend and I would head back to the hotel and my other friend would stay with 'this lady'.

A short time later my friend came knocking on the door and started screaming at us about how upset 'the lady' was and that she was crying . . .

Now you have to understand about this 'lady'. She is a Drama Queen in the largest and fullest extent of those words. This isn't the first time she's blown a situation out of proportion, but it was the last time for me. I'd had it and unfortunately it had to happen at this particular moment.

So, I go across to our room and she's busily and happily putting away all of her new clothes. Not crying, not even a red eye. What the heck? So by this time my friend is finished yelling at my mom and comes over, closes the door and basically blocks my exit. 'The lady' has the nerve to ask ME what's wrong and not wanting to give her drama-like ways an audience, I suggest we go into the bathroom. She heads towards the bathroom, I follow her in and then all of a sudden she realizes she doesn't have an audience, PUSHES me against the wall and makes a hasty exit. By this time, someone has called security, my mom is standing outside the door and I'm inside, all sense of reality has left me and I'm beginning to hyperventilate. Finally, security demands that the door be opened, I exit and go to my mom's room whereupon the drama winds down, an oxygen tank is called for because I'm crying and hyperventilating so bad I can't breathe.

After a time, things settle down, I can breathe again, and I'm left wondering 'what the heck happened'?

After a few more sullen days it's time for me to go home. By myself. I have to endure the long plane ride home by myself knowing the other two are on the same plane. Torture . . . pure torture.

Now here's where it gets interesting and the REASON for the whole story I've just shared . . .

So I'm standing outside of the hotel with my mom waiting for the shuttle bus to come and pick me up. As we're standing there, a limosine pulls up. The driver exits the car comes towards me, looks right at me and says 'you need to come with me'. I politely thank him and tell him that I'm waiting for a shuttle bus (which I booked the night before). He smiles and goes about his business of loading a couple of other passengers. A few minutes later he's pulling away and then does a U-turn, pulls over to the side of the road, exits the car and says to me again 'you NEED to come with me'. I look over at my mom who is incredulous and we both agree that I should go with him. He comes and takes my suitcase, I hug and kiss my mom goodbye, head over to the limo and he escorts me TO THE FRONT SEAT of the car! The whole trip to the airport I felt protected and cared for. Amazing!

So there I am at the airport, the other two ladies arriving by cab at the same exact moment. And there they are, in front of me at the check-in counter. I can't breathe and it's all I can do to hold myself together to make it through the check-in, which I do, barely. After asking to have my seat changed and checking my bag, I make my way through security and wonder around aimlessly for a few minutes. Then I'm able to compose myself and head over to a book store where I pick up a book, purchase it and head over to the gate.

After making myself comfortable I open the book and begin to read. I don't remember the name of the book, but I remember it talking about TOXIC people. I'm beginning to think someone is trying to tell me something. Sitting next to me is a lady who happens to glance over and makes the comment that she's read the book and that's it's a good one. We start talking and I find out she's a MINISTER! We talk about many things and I relay my story to her. She looks on sympathetically and offers such kind words that I'm now left with a sense of relief and peace. The time comes to board the plane, we exchange goodbyes (after discovering that we are not seated anywhere near each other), she gives me her card and the next thing I know I'm seated comfortably near the front of the plane while the other two are at the back.

After landing I make my way through the seemingly endless hallways and finally I'm melting in a heap of tears into Brian's arms. He takes me to the car and goes back for my suitcase. It has never felt so good to come home . . . where it's safe, calm and free from drama.

Some days later and many discussions with my mom, I came to realize that these two people were sent to me. To protect me, to guide me, to offer me comfort. They came into my life for a short time for a REASON and I'm grateful to the universe for sending them to me.

Oh and about my friend and 'the lady'. Well, my friend and I patched things up within a few days of arriving home. 'The lady' is no longer my friend and I'm better off for it. And here's a funny thing I also realized after some time had passed . . . I'd been wanting to end that relationship for some time because it never felt quite right. There was always drama and negativity surrounding her. She was toxic. I always felt it, but never did anything about it because I tend to hang onto relationships, even if they're not good for me. Well, the universe had had enough of it and finally decided to kick me in the butt. And I'm grateful for the butt-kicking . . .

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Law of Attraction

I'm starting to believe that someone is trying to tell me something. It doesn't matter where I go or who I speak with, The Law of Attraction makes it's way into my world either in the form of a book or someone telling me about a book I should read.

As you know I've been reading 'Ask and it is Given' wherein it explains the Law of Attraction, how it works and what one must do to allow the attraction to take place. Last Wednesday when I was sitting reading the book, I got the overwhelming feeling that I should book an appointment with a pyschic. I had been thinking about booking an appointment for some time, but the feeling was so overwhelming I just couldn't ignore it anymore.

I went to the appointment at the scheduled time on Monday and sat in anticipation as she read my palms, tarot cards and did a clairvoyance reading. She touched on so many subjects and gave me so much information that by the end of the reading I was pretty much exhausted. One chord that really struck was when she told me I NEEDED to read 'The Secret'. Yet another book on The Law of Attraction!

So, heeding what the universe is trying to get through this thick skull of mine, I headed to the bookstore and picked up a copy of 'The Secret'. After reading only a few chapters last night, I can tell you that I'm already thinking about the way I think. And one more thing I know for sure . . . I need to think less and meditate more and open my mind and heart to what the Goddess is trying to tell me. And don't even get me started on my Chakra's, that's a whole other post . . .

So how about you? Are you aware of what you're thinking about?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Celebrate the Blessing Moon . . .

Today is this month's full moon, and it's the one we know as the Blessing Moon. In addition to being the perfect time to take inventory of the good things you have in your life, use this moon phase for magical workings related to dreams and divination. It's also called the Meadow Moon, which would explain why I've felt compelled to go for a four mile walk around a nature conservancy which is a short distance from my house. This afternoon I plan to do just that and enjoy the chance to be outside, breathe the fresh air and perhaps pick a wildflower or two.


• Colors: green, silver, blue-gray
• Gemstones: moonstone, white agate, opals or pearls
• Trees: Ash and Oak
• Gods: Juno, Venus, Cerridwen, Athena, Nephthys, Lugh
• Herbs: mugwort, hyssop, lemon balm
• Element: water

Tonight I'll perform my first rituals by celebrating the 'Blessing Moon'. May your day be a blessed one.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Creating a Medicine Journal . . .

The last few months have proven interesting and somewhat discombobulating. I started a new job, which I loved, but in the end found it wasn't the environment I had thought it was and so made the decision to leave. In such a short time, it left me defeated, lost and wondering where it all went wrong. My self-esteem took a hit and I'm struggling to find it back.

The last few days has found me sitting on the sofa in my sunroom with my birds and dogs, taking in their positive energy, and reading. The book I'm reading is called 'Ask and It Is Given' by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It's an intense book and I don't mind saying at times it leaves me somewhat confused. Just when I think I've got it, it's gone, and so without thinking on it too much, I get it . . . does that make any sense? It's like I know it intuitively, but my mind hasn't quite grasped the concept yet. And so I'm making my way through it . . . one page at a time. I think it's definitely going to be a re-read.

Today I decided to visit some blogs I haven't visited in awhile (sorry ladies!) and came across a lovely blog by Joanna named 'Sea Gypsy Magickals'. As I sat at my computer I had this overwhelming rush of energy course through me . . . it was incredible! I believe that Joanna has put her energy into her blog and that's what I was experiencing . . . I feel it every time I go there to visit, which is going to be often!

Joanna also shares her talent at 'Ravens Feather Studio' where I'm participating in her 'Divine Medicine Journal Workshop'. I'm a bit behind as she started the workshop in January. I made my way down to my studio and worked on the first pages of my journal. I still have a bit to do, but for the most part it's done and so I thought I'd share it with you . . .

My thanks to Joanna for taking the time to put these workshops together and I have to say that I really enjoyed creating today! I can't wait to get started on the next page!

One last thought before I leave you . . . I was getting a massage from my therapist the other day (whom I've been going to for about three years now, so she knows me well) and an interesting thing happened. I had been thinking about a chocolate donut all day. After my massage, Melanie asked me what I was going to do. I told her I was going to get a chocolate donut because I'd been thinking of it all day. She couldn't believe it! She said she never thinks of donuts and the whole time she was massaging me all she could think about was a donut! There was a lady waiting for her appointment and she said she got goosebumps and that we were channelling. Interesting . . . very interesting. And yes, I went and got a chocolate donut . . . y-u-m-m-y!